At First Bite
by Lady Lianna Kari
Summary: Oneshot. What if she bit first?


Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ.

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**At First Bite**

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Vegeta scowled as he left the gravity room, once again succumbing to his blasted Saiyan appetite. Frowning deeply in thought, he barely noticed as his weary feet slowly propelled him to the same kitchen he had eaten in off-and-on for over two years. He slouched at the bar and immediately began eating the large spread that had just been freshly prepared. Although he ate every bit as much as Kakarot, he was considerably more graceful than the pathetic clown in regards to table manners. _Even Kakarot's harpy said so_, Vegeta thought with a satisfied smirk, recalling Chi-Chi's chidings of her sloppy husband.

Vegeta sneered. He just didn't understand what Kakarot had seen in that loud earth woman. Loud she was, and presumptuous, and impudent, and **ridiculous **how she pampered Kakarot's spawn. Not to mention that blasted frying pan! Having fallen victim a few times to it himself, Vegeta no longer underestimated the power of the steel-coated culinary tool. Vegeta shook his head disgustedly. _Where does she hide that blasted thing?! _He even got panned in his own house…twice! Well, in the other earth woman's house. But it might as well be his…he was the strongest living there. If it had been Vegeta, he'd have blasted that infernal pan-wielding woman into the next dimension, pan and all. He snorted. Not that he had room to talk or muse on it. He had his own woman problems.

But Vegeta hadn't got entangled with the woman named Bulma. He was just using her. She was, after all, considerably intelligent for an earth woman, even if she _was_ a complete moron. He would use her Gravity Room, and she would feed him…in exchange, she would get to keep her pathetic life and the lives of everyone else on the pitiable planet.

As he finished his food and stood to leave, a familiar, loud voice said in a very sarcastic voice, "You're _welcome,_ Vegeta!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes and turned to face the blue-haired harpy. He gave a mock bow. "Thank you for the mediocre cattle feed, pathetic, weakling, woman slave." He grinned and turned away.

The woman glared at his retreating form. Then, she smirked deviously as his form left toward the GR. Grinning, she pulled out a remote device and pushed a button. Ten seconds later, Vegeta's form reemerged.

"Woman! The blasted GR machine is broken again. Fix it!"

Bulma turned her nose at him. "Oh really? What do I get if I do?"

Vegeta snorted. "You get to live, of course."

She rolled her eyes. "Not this time, Vegeta! You have to give me something better than that."

He stared.

"You have to tell me I'm the most brilliant, beautiful woman in the world," she said in an unconvincing modest tone.

"What?! Stop this foolishness, woman, and fix that machine!"

"Not until you say it-"

"Don't be ridiculous!"

"Say it-"

"No way-"

"Say it-"

"Not on your life-

"SAY IT!"

"NOT A CHANCE IN HELL!" The pair stood on opposite ends of the table, glaring at each other. Vegeta jumped over the table and landed in front of her. He growled. "Woman! You are_ perfectly_ idiotic!"

She retorted. "Well, Princess Veggie-Head, I'm in _perfect_ company!"

"Just fix the machine!"

"Not until you say one thing nice about me!"

Vegeta bared his teeth at her. Even then, he couldn't help but notice the way her hair caught light, the way her large blue eyes held angry flames behind them, her soft lips. Angrily, he shook it away. "You have a big mouth," he said quietly.

"I said something nice, Vegeta!"

"That _is_ something nice!" he said with a vindictive scowl.

Bulma drew in a lot of air with a snarl. She bellowed, "YOU INSENSITIVE INGRATE! HOW COULD I EVER BE NICE TO YOU WHILE YOU-"

Vegeta had winced from her hysterical shrieking. "-Stop-" he began quietly.

"-SPEND YOUR LIFE IN MY ROOM AND EAT MY FOOD-"

"-screaming-"

"-THEN YOU INSULT MY COOKING AND WALK AWAY-"

"-woman-"

"I"VE HAD IT, VEGETA! I WON'T TAKE IT-"

But Vegeta _couldn't_ take it anymore. He clamped his hand over Bulma's mouth. "Stop screaming, woman!"

She pushed on his granite chest and kicked his steel shins, but all to no avail. Her eyes slightly bulged with panic as she tried to fight Vegeta from her. Vegeta didn't know he was smothering her. He had opened his mouth to tell her off when he saw it. The light from the bar struck her hair at an angle. Vegeta pulled her forward to examine the effect, ignoring her muffled protests. Vegeta stared, completely mesmerized by the beautiful flowing strands bathed in pinks and purples. It reminded him of an ocean sunset. He relaxed his grip.

Bulma seized the chance. She opened her mouth and clamped down on his hand with a surprising strength. Her teeth pierced his glove and punctured his flesh.

Vegeta yelled and jumped away in shock. Bulma released him and looked into his face fearfully. It had been, after all, an action of impulse. She hadn't really thought about doing it...it was one of those things that sort of happened.

"Vegeta, I'm sorry," she began softly, but Vegeta continued to stare in growing horror. He absently removed his glove and examined the bite with the gloved fingertips of his other hand. He suddenly felt light-headed and dizzy; his eyes widened as the gravity of what the woman had done sunk in. He had let his guard down. The woman, the pathetic, weakling, earth woman had conquered him…had claimed him. Even on Vegeta, the planet, a woman who could manage to defeat a Saiyan man was a highly desirable mate.

She stood there in blissful ignorance as images began flooding Vegeta's head like that huge water spillway the Humans called Niagara. Stars popped in his vision; he blinked stupidly. "Most brilliant," he whispered as he swayed. "most beautiful-"

Bulma leaned forward, not hearing a word. "Huh? Vegeta, I mean it. I'm really sorry. Vegeta?"

Bulma's body slowly slid from view, and Vegeta caught a glimpse of ceiling before his eyes rolled into his skull. For the first time, outside of non-combative purposes:

Vegeta fainted.


End file.
